FAQ

Finding a Therapist

Silence

In Treatment

'Negative' Emotions

The Therapeutic Relationship

Feeling Stuck

The following 'Frequently Asked Questions', and my admittedly very short and incomplete 'answers', might be helpful to you. I encourage you to ask any additional questions that may help you decide about whether you would like to begin therapy with me. Use the Contact Button and e-mail me and I will reply as soon as possible (usually within one business day).

Do you work with clients who are also taking medication?

Yes. While I believe that medication is limited in what it can do and for whom, it can be helpful. It is important that if you are on medication you have a psychiatrist or GP that you trust, to help you carefully monitor its effects.

Do I need to come every week?

There are no hard and fast rules, but it is very important to meet regularly, ideally once or twice a week. While in some circumstances it is not possible to meet every week, it's important to try and make some other arrangements to allow the therapeutic process to deepen.

How long will it take?

Unfortunately there is no answer to that question. Some people stay in therapy long after their original issue has been resolved (because they find it valuable). Other people leave therapy as soon as they have accomplished what they set out to do. Even if you are completely focused on one issue it is still impossible to say how long your therapy will take, or where it will lead you. Of course you have complete control of your therapy and can stop at anytime. I have worked successfully with people over a period of a few weeks and I have worked with clients who have profited from their therapy for years.

Why don't you give advice?

My role is to help you find your own way. My giving advice is usually a hindrance to that process, not a help. This is capture by the cliché "Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime." (Besides, you may not even like fish, in which case we have to discover what it is you do like.)

What if I disagree with you?

Tell me. You are the sole arbiter of what is true for you. My role is to help you on your path. If I am not understanding you, if my feedback seems mis-attuned or just plain wrong, tell me. It is crucial in every therapy to be able to refine your therapist's understandings and I welcome your letting me know how you are feeling about what I might say.

Can I swear in sessions?

It's very important that you express yourself naturally. You can say anything you want.

Will you work with me if I am actively drinking/smoking/using?

Yes, but you must be able to come to sessions clear.

Are you gay/lesbian/TS/TG positive?

Absolutely. I hope we soon see the day when it is no longer necessary for anyone to ask this question, when there is no more discrimination based on gender or sexual orientation. Unfortunately we are not there yet.

How do you work with people from very different backgrounds?

I work with individuals. Everyone I work with is unique. Everyone needs me to listen closely to who they are, what they need, and how they experience their lives without my preconceptions getting in the way. In a very real way, everyone is from a very different background, regardless of superficial similarities. Paradoxically, everyone is also built from the same universal human needs and desires. I work with and respect both aspects of this duality.

Do you work weekends?

No. While I will occasionally see existing clients on weekends, I do not schedule regular appointments on Saturdays or Sundays.

Do you work with dreams?

Dreams can be very helpful. While the simple fact that we tell ourselves 'stories' of incredible intensity and creativity every night (though we may not remember it) is mind boggling enough, the richness and depth of each one of those stories is a wonderful opportunity for personal illumination, understanding and growth.

How do I pay you?

You can pay by cash or cheque at the beginning or end of each session. Some clients choose to pay monthly, in which case I require that you pay for the month in advance.

Are you covered by OHIP or third party Health Insurance Plans?

Unfortunately I am not covered by OHIP and only by the rare health insurance plan. Though some insurance plans may cover psychotherapy by someone other than a Registered Psychologist, this is still the exception rather than the rule.

Do you incorporate feminist understandings in your work?

Feminist theories are crucial ways of understanding our culture and its effects on our lives - the destructive nature of patriarchal systems are as undeniable as the traumatic effects of abuse. I do incorporate feminist thinking in my work, as I do analytic, self-psychological, relational, existential, humanistic etc.

How does group therapy work?

The kind of groups that I run are very intense and catalytic. Usually consisting of ten to twelve men and women these analytically oriented groups provide opportunities for honest, stirring and extremely powerful engagement by other people on similar paths of exploration and growth. Requiring a commitment of 8 months these groups are only helpful to people already in the process of individual therapy (with me or someone else) who are prepared for the intensity of feeling that group therapy can stir up.

"This being human is a guest house; every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor Welcome and entertain them all. . . Be grateful for whoever comes, for each has been sent as a guide from beyond."

Coleman Barks (Translation of Rumi)